Adeline Joy, 

It’s the eve of your first birthday, and as I sit here, I’m listening to my labor playlist from your birth. I’m also trying to wrap my mind around the reality that in the morning you will be ONE. You my precious girl, have made this last year more beautiful and joy-filled than we ever dreamed. One year of knowing you, and I am better for it in every way. Today has ushered back in all of those distant yet vivid memories of your birth and the days leading up to it. 

Your entrance into the world was nothing I expected, and yet, ordained and sacred in the deepest way. Giving birth to you and your sister, have been among the most sacred experiences of my life. What an honor to carry you for 9 months and then hold you as you breathe your first exhale — there is nothing quite like it in all the world. Holding you skin on skin feeling your heartbeat on top of mine, a new melody the world had never known until you. 

The day before you were born, your daddy, big sister and I walked all the miles. It almost felt as though if we walked far enough, we would find you waiting for us at the end. We wondered if perhaps it might possibly be our last day before you joined us in the physical. The anticipation of you growing stronger with every passing hour. Your big sister Elsie was the most naive and giddy of us all. She gave you all the belly kisses, and practiced saying your name ( yours and the boy name we had picked out too, because we wouldn’t find out your gender until we met you face to face.) When she said your name, it was my absolute favorite thing–I started wondering then, if indeed you were a girl– our Adeline Joy. 

I woke up the morning of your birthday with all the signs that we were going to meet you sooner than later. I started prepping my mind, body and heart, that today was the day. I gathered things for Elsie to take with her on her own little adventure; while mommy and daddy were at the hospital having you. As I moved throughout the house, feeling the ebb and flow of contractions, I became more confident that I would be holding you in my arms before too long– visions of you, my end goal and motivation with every step I took. 

I informed your daddy that he should stop packing up for work, and start packing his hospital bag instead. You weren’t going to take the whole day to make your entrance, it was your due date after all, and you had plans to spend the bulk  of it in our arms. It was in the 10 o’clock hour, when we started prepping Elsie that she was going to spend the day with her friends, while mommy and daddy headed to the hospital to have you. An hour and a half later, we gave her our last hugs and kisses and then she was off safe and sound. 

Once my body knew that every piece of my heart was now ready to give my full attention and energy to welcoming you, the contractions (almost immediately) became more intense and quicker with each one. Your daddy called the hospital to let them know we would be there soon (sooner than most, considering our proximity to the hospital) and then he packed up the car as I focused on you. 

We checked in and were brought up to our room right around noon. We spent the first little bit getting settled in, as we met our nurse and gave her all the info she needed to help us best–your daddy by my side the whole time. Once we were sure we were staying ( we were definitely staying!) I sent your daddy across the room to start up the playlist of songs, (the same ones I am listening to now as I type.) each one holding a specific purpose in my choosing–all to welcome you. I decided to stand up and move around while I still had the energy, and 3 minutes later, my water broke. I crawled back into bed, while your daddy called our nurse. I knew the familiarity of this feeling, we would be meeting you very soon. 

The room lit up to action within moments. The nurses doing what they do best, angels in every way. I heard calls out to the Doctor, gowns and gloves being put on, reminders to breathe, not to push quite yet, and that they (the nurses) were capable of delivering you if the Dr. didn’t make it in on time. After breathing deep and willing my body to relax as much as physically possible– I heard the words  “we have a head crowning, OK mom, you can push now.” What a relief those words brought. 

A few pushes later, you were skin on skin and making your presence known. YOU WERE HERE! Every inch of you accounted for, our nurse lifted you up to daddy and he announced what my heart felt in the first moments of feeling you outside of the womb– “ We have another GIRL!” 

Your birth story makes me smile and awe at how much of you, your unique personality we saw that day–your very first day in the world. You surprised us in your size, promptness, and swift entrance. You weren’t going to wait for anyone–once you decided it was time to come, you were here. You were a snuggler from the moment I met you, and that’s exactly who you are today, on the eve of your first birthday. Your safest place, snuggled against daddy or mommy’s heart, arms tucked purposefully between us, legs curled up, bum pushed out. Safe. held. Known. 

The time lapse from then until now– it’s held more than we bargained for. But oh what a gift you are Adeline Joy. You have more smiles and giggles than I dreamed of. Your big sister adores you, and delights in your existence–we all do. The bond you two have, is immeasurably more. I whisper my thanks to the Father again and again, the gift of you overwhelms my heart to no end. 

Today, you are surprising us with your strength, determination, resilience and joy. You are smarter than we know and curious about All.The.Things. You are crying one moment and giggling the next–easily soothed with touch or a song from your doting sister Elsie. You have a special bond with your mama and sister but a distinctive place in your heart for your daddy. You know you are safe with him, the comfort you find in his presence undoes me in the best way possible. 

We are better for knowing you Adeline Joy, so much better. The last year has held many things, but the timing of your story– of welcoming you into the world, into our love and family– perfect in every way. You are loved beyond words and adored to no end. 

Welcome to the start of year two my beautiful girl, you belong here. YOU. BELONG. HERE. 

 

Love, forever and always, 

Your mama