God is satisfaction, Jehovah has been gracious. Her name says it all.

I’ve never been more sure of something in my life. Elsie Jane is such a beautiful gift, my heart can hardly take it. I love that the LORD knew exactly who she was from the beginning. Indeed it is true what they say, about it being instant love the moment your skin touches hers. Also true-how you can never again imagine your life before she was born. We are lovestruck and in awe as we near the end of our first week as a family of three.

Last week Thursday as I started my day, something felt different. I knew I had some errands to run and a project to finish up, so I just proceeded on with my day, assuming that what I felt were my very first Braxton Hicks contractions. I never had any contractions (to my knowledge) during my pregnancy, surely delivery was days or weeks away yet…or so I thought.

By the time I was home for the afternoon, I decided to start tracking how often contractions were coming. After 2 hours of consistent contractions coming every 3-5 minutes, I decided to let my doula know what was going on, still believing it was nothing, I let her know. Chase was now home from work and I filled him in on the latest. Mind you, the contractions were more intense from when they started in the morning, but still nothing I couldn’t talk through. I laid down on the couch and drank a big glass of water to see if the contractions would slow down or stop.

Another hour passed by, and they were still coming every 3-4 minutes. My doula and I decided it would be good for her to head my way soon, just so she could monitor how I was doing and get a feel for how intense things were getting. She arrived around 8:45/9:00 and at that point I was still walking around, talking through contractions and wondering if this was really it. My tiredness from earlier in the day was now gone, and in its place was the need to finish packing my bags-just in case. Chase was also feeling that things were picking up, because bless his dear heart, he was working away trying to finish up a project, that he knew I really wanted done before baby.

The three of us sat in the living room talking, as I continued to have contractions, and for the most part I felt fully engaged in the conversations. By 10:30 the contractions were definitely getting more intense, coming every 2-3 minutes. I was still breathing through them well, but no longer talking. At this point, we decided that things were definitely happening. I was more than likely going to have a baby by morning. Seeing that we live about 2 min. from the hospital, I still wasn’t feeling anxious about getting there in time- I was just thankful to have the opportunity to labor at home for as long as possible.

By 11:45, I was in my hospital room and that is when things really picked up. I was no longer wondering if this was it, I was ready to meet my baby. The nurse came in to hook my up to monitors and check me. PRAISE BE I was at a 4. Indeed this was the real thing! Another hour passed with contractions coming every 30 seconds-1 minute, sometimes one on top of the other. Things were definitely changing again and I ask for the nurse to come in and check me. Sure enough I was a 7-8! I asked Chase to pray over me and the baby and then he turned on my spotify playlist and that was when I knew my baby was coming soon. The pressure was very strong, and the urge to push the same. The first song to play was “No longer slaves” the very song that has carried me through this entire pregnancy. The songs continued to play and they were just what I needed. I felt calm, at peace and in control. All things I had prayed for consistently while pregnant. The Lord was granting my requests.

Before I knew it, the urge to push was suddenly upon me. The nurse took one look, saw our babes head, and quickly called for the Dr. OUR BABY WAS COMING! The room lit up, nurses and equipment filled the room and the Dr. was getting set up into place. After pushing for a few minutes, I heard the song, “Good, Good, Father” begin to play. Another song, that holds a lot of meaning to me. Our little Elsie’s head was delivered as the song finished up, and another push later, I was pulling her up to my chest! OUR BABY WAS HERE!

At this point I still didn’t know if we had a boy or a girl, until they asked for daddy to let me know. “IT’S A GIRL! This mama was surprised in the best way possible! She was here, and she was beyond beautiful. I couldn’t stop kissing her and taking all of her features in. This little life we prayed so many days for, was finally in my arms, and more precious than I could have imagined. I whispered quiet praise to the LORD and thanked Him for this little miracle as I turned to see a proud husband and daddy looking back at me. We were now a family of three at 2:09 am on December 30th.

Jehovah truly has been gracious.

Elsie’s birth and pregnancy has wrecked me in the best way possible. Never before in my life have I prayed so fervently against fear of any and every kind. Never before have I sensed His peaceful presence surround me so intimately. Never before have I known how it feels to have an unconditional love for your child, as you hold them in your arms.

Until now.

This is yet another piece of our story. Redemptions story worked out in our life. Abba knew this day was coming, he has carried us through deep pain and whispered His love over us every day since. Holding our beautiful girl, warms me in a way that I’ve never known, but also brings with it bittersweet emotions, remembering what we lost. But we know and believe that He works all things together for our good and His glory. Elsie’s birth an extenuation of His goodness.

Bless the LORD oh my soul and ALL that is within me, bless His holy name! His love is marvelous and I am completely undone.

This week, has felt many things, but namely sacred. We have spent more consecutive hours/days in our little fixer upper than ever before; as we learn the dance of parenthood. It’s been the most sacrificial, demanding, beautiful, priceless dance of our lives. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Welcome to the world Elsie Jane!

Our new beginning. Answered prayer. Beautiful girl.