Things have been quiet around here lately.

In the quiet of my posts, there has been a lot of heart work taking place, this last month and a half, has been filled with beautifully hard growth for me. Today, I want to take you on a little journey back to the beginning of the year, to give you a small glimpse in.

As December 31 turned January 1,2,3…etc I took some serious time and reflected on 2015. This year, Chase and I woke up surrounded by the Mountains of Tennessee as we greeted the first few days of the new year; and between you and me, I hope to say the same next year! It was an oasis from the normal pace of life, especially the pace leading up to the new year.

Like many of you, we were coming off of a busy season, where nearly all of the calendar boxes were filled with black ink. Beyond work and other commitments, Chase was finishing up one of his busier school semesters of his MBA program (so PROUD of him) I had been struggling with a chronic neck issue that seemed to linger from Thanksgiving to Christmas, and my heart was heavy in prayer for my sister-in-law whose storm of 2015 was being carried right into 2016. I felt maxed out in every way. Which hardly seems fair to say, but that is just how I felt.

So there I found myself, waking to the view of the mountains and trees and breathing deep for the first time in too long. Our good friends were along on this little mountain top getaway and it was truly a breath of fresh-unhurried-air. We lounged in our sweatpants and hoodies, and kept the fireplace going, read books, brewed (several pots of) coffee, went for hikes, played games, and laughed (a lot). Yet In the midst of the leisurely activities I caught myself reflecting on 2015 and trying to embrace 2016 in the calm of our days. I considered that maybe if I set goals and resolutions into place while I was so relaxed and under rushed in my thinking, I might have a better chance to truly process and follow through on those newly penned ambitions for the year ahead.

While the atmosphere was ideal for a fresh start, my heart was still heavily distracted. We received word halfway through our trip, that the storm my dear sister-in-law and her family were up against, took a turn towards calm; but just not the calm that they were anticipating. Her dad had been fully healed, a clean bill of health. Free and clear forever.

Forever in Heaven.

Murray Harrison. A devoted, loving man whom I never had the opportunity to meet here on earth, ran into the gates of heaven to meet His Savior face to face. No more pain, no more suffering, or waiting for him. Now it was our turn to experience the pain, the pain of loss. My heart was breaking for this beautiful family. Yet their unwavering faith and proclamations of God’s goodness were impacting many. The journey that God has led them on over the past year, is one beyond beautiful.

Their story impacted my own heart and life as they shared their faith so boldly. Last year when they began sharing their journey with cancer, I couldn’t help but to pray. My training runs became prayer runs, and my morning coffee became a sacred space to pray believing for a miracle. The time I spent in prayer, changed my heart in ways that I would have never expected. The LORD clearly used this extra time in prayer to change my perspective on life. The faith of Murray and Natalie in their darkest days, was shining bright. Bright enough to penetrate my own heart and many many more.

Today I am praising the Lord for the faith Murray carried with him all the way into the gates of glory! I honestly don’t know what is more beautiful than being drawn deeper in understanding and love with our Savior, through the pains and hardships we face on earth. The way he tenderly takes the broken pieces of our hearts and builds them back together is so sacred and redemptive, it is hard to gather into words the depth of restoration. I can’t speak into the depth of their pain and loss, but I encourage you to head on over here. Where Murray’s beautiful wife Natalie shares in depth, about Murray’s race to the finish line and the legacy she continues to live out today. (Grab a tissue though, this God-story is an emotional one!)

In the quiet of an unfamiliar cabin, unable to verbalize a single word. My heart longed to be with my sister-in-law, who is also one of my very dear friends, I knew I couldn’t offer her any words of comfort from my own understanding, but it’s in these moments when you just long to be there for them. To be a physical presence of  comfort. But I couldn’t even offer her that. We were thousands of miles apart and so ached my soul. I began  offering up my prayers to the Lord again. Praying fervent prayers of peace and comfort. I started reading the Psalms at the empty dining room table, hungry for the Lord’s presence to meet me there. 25 Chapters later and I could feel my body relaxing into the truths flooding my heart and mind. I was reminded of Who He is, in the wake of what I am not. Once again, my faith in the LORD was increased because of the transparency and light shining through His faithful children in the Harrison family, who were choosing to walk by faith and not sight, in some of their darkest days. He used my broken prayers for His children, to remind this child, tucked away in the mountains of Tennessee, that wherever He leads me this year, most of all He simply wants more of me.

More of this broken heart of mine. He desires all of me. Infinitely greater than my deepest desire, He desires me.

These are the words I felt Him whispering into my spirit as we left the mountains over a month ago, and He is still whispering them over my heart today. More than anything I set out to accomplish in the next 11 months, I desire to hear His voice. To fall in a deeper love with my Savior and share that love over and over again, with whoever will hear. Whoever will listen.

He is sending love notes to you too. He has a sacred and unique calling for your own life, one that may not look like you expected it would; even still, His love for you is deeply extravagant. Extravagant enough to want more of you, no  matter what the cost. I don’t know what you have carried into the new year with you, maybe that storm from last year is about to pick up again, maybe you are in a season of rejoicing and victory, or maybe your heart is in waiting like mine. If you are His child, He is right in the middle of your mess and joys alike. He doesn’t require perfection, Jesus already accomplished that. He simply requires that you follow Him, with your whole heart. Returning to Him again and again when you fall or when you have not an ounce of strength left to offer.

He sees you and knows you.

Let that truth just wash over your spirit sweet friend. I’m praying for you today as you read these words and continue on in your day. I’m asking the LORD to meet each one of us with His gentle Spirit wherever we are. That is the beauty of our Savior. He will go to any length in pursuit of His children. Let us run into His arms again this very hour, in hopes that the light we carry might shine brighter still.

 

 

P.S.

This link below is to a song by Natalie Grant, which my sister-in-law shared with me a while back, yet still remains one of my favorite songs. Let the words wash over you today my friend, He has so much in store for you! <3

Burn Bright-Natalie Grant